Gratitude

Life is pretty boring for me. I just go to rehab and take care of Nolan.

Last night we went over what we were grateful for. I think seeing others at rehab makes me grateful for what I have instead of mourning what I don't. This morning Stephen said something like he loves me alive. I forget that he almost lost me a couple times. I'm grateful that I'm alive and that I can talk even though it's not normal. I can understand easily so anyone can talk to me at normal speed. I have a lot to be grateful for. There's so much I have and I can honestly say that I'm improving. So many people don't have even that. I'm lucky.

We're Back

I can honestly say I'm married to Superman. He's working and going to school and helping me with getting better and with Nolan. I am getting better but it's a lot slower than I'd like. While he's gone I get help from my mom and sister. Luckily Nolan is a good baby. He sleeps a lot and is really patient with me. I can do just about everything for him except transfer with him safely. Maybe I can but I'm afraid to try.

A Taste of Freedom

Marlene got a taste of freedom and good Arizona sun this weekend. After therapy on Saturday, we escaped (with permission) to Jamba Juice and got smoothies and drank them out in the sun. The weather was absolutely perfect. Then we went to a flower shop that was more of a novelty shop than a florist shop, so Marlene was disappointed. (So was I, but don't tell anyone!) Then we went back to the hospital.

Sunday was a good day. Marlene had the day off from therapy so we got a pass to go out for a bit. We went with her mom to a barbecue place just down the street. It was really windy, but Marlene had a blast. The food was excellent and we had a good time away from the hospital. After lunch, we went back to the hotel and let Marlene take a nap in a real bed. When she got into bed the first words she said were "oh, soft and fluffy!" It was the funniest thing. It was just a small moment to treasure and another reminder of how great Marlene is and how enjoyable she makes my life. Even during these trying times, she lights up my soul and makes me the happiest and luckiest man in the world.

Today, she continued therapy and is doing tremendously well. She is making great strides every day. I love being by her side throughout the day to encourage her when therapy is tough, but she is handling it well. Her smile is still beautiful and is present throughout each day. It's amazing how much more I fall in love with her each day. Everything I do is for her and makes me happy.

So in summary, Marlene is fantastic (as if everyone didn't already know that :) ) and is continuing to improve on a daily basis. The baby is well also. We have taken to calling him Nolan. We like that name and have been trying it out. So far we like it, but who knows what Marlene will say when the baby is born. But whatever his name will be, we love him and love to hear his heartbeat everyday. I can't wait to hold him and smile at him. He will be just another source of happiness in our lives. Life is great, even during trying times because the Lord is always with us. Thank God for that!

~Stephen

One Month

Today marks one month since this adventure began. What a month it has been. We've had ups and downs but have remained optimistic throughout. Marlene is doing fantastic. She improves more and more everyday, but we still realize that we have a long journey ahead of us and we must always rely on the Lord. I am scared about the future, about the uncertainty, but faith has kept me going. Marlene's bright smile and great attitude sure helps too.

Yesterday, we went to the healing gardens to get Marlene some fresh air and to enjoy the beautiful Arizona weather. Today she is walking more and becoming more independent. She still has a long way to go, but rehab will certainly help us make huge strides in recovery. The biggest stress today is trying to get approved for Medicaid. I spent all morning on hold trying to figure out what the holdup is. I finally got a hold of our case worker (she doesn't like answering the phone) and have solved (hopefully) the remaining obstacles to get Marlene on Medicaid. It sure would help out with the finances. We sure do need it. I've also been getting more feedback from jobs. I can't wait to get back to Utah so I can start accepting interviews. It is just so hard to get responses now when I don't know when we will get home. I know the right job will come at the right time, though. The Lord is certainly looking over us and watching out for us.

So it's been a month. Let's see what the next month brings!

~Stephen

The Calm

It's interesting how sweet the calm after a storm can be. Sometimes it is just that, other times it is the eye of the hurricane, a brief respite from stress, pain, or sorrow before another trial comes your way. Today feels like one of those calms. Marlene is improving at an astounding rate. She fed herself breakfast this morning, she is moving ever more quickly, and she is in good spirits. Her smile is as beautiful as always. She never ceases to amaze me. We still don't know when we are coming home, but things are good here. The weather is beautiful and we have plenty of love and support, which we truly appreciate. It has meant so much to both of us, especially reading the comments on the facebook group. They always make Marlene smile and gives her courage in her down moments.

I am holding up pretty well, all things considered. My job hunt is improving. Last night I applied for seven jobs and actually heard back from one today wanting to interview me tomorrow. Obviously I can't be in Provo tomorrow, but the hiring manager is considering a webcam or phone interview. I am praying this goes well so that I can have a better job to help Marlene and to do better in my studies.

I am grateful to the Lord for His blessings. He truly helps us in our times of greatest need. This whole experience has taught me more of how the Lord works and how everything is in HIs hands. We should all be grateful for what we have and cherish it everyday because tomorrow, it all just might change.

~Stephen

Facebook Group

We are now going to keep updates on Facebook as well! The link is: http://www.facebook.com/#!/group.php?gid=101784933199515 so join the group and give encouragement to the strongest and most inspirational woman I know, Marlene. Again thank you for all the support and prayers and keep them coming, because this is going to be a long and hard journey.

~Stephen

Update

First of all, Marlene is doing well. She sat up for an hour today and is doing more on her own. The bad news (I guess) is that she will need to go back into inpatient rehab for 2-3 weeks. On top of that, she can't fly home yet because sitting up makes her dizzy and uncomfortable. So we will be enjoying the Arizona sun for a little while longer. They will be moving her tomorrow to a rehab clinic here in the hospital. She is in good spirits and is continually improving despite the obvious challenges. She is so awesome.

However, I am ready to be home again, for life to be normal. I can't even wrap my head around the finances of all this and my job search isn't going well. I have applied for at least twenty jobs and no interviews. Hopefully things will start going up, but until then, I just have to have faith that everything will work out.

Until next time,

Stephen

Working with Contractions

This morning I was laying in bed at the Hampton Inn, getting some much needed rest when my phone began to ring. It was Marlene's mom at the hospital. She told me Marlene was having contractions and that I needed to get there quick. So I jumped out of bed, threw some clothes on and raced out the door, across the street and into the hospital. When I got there, Marlene had six more contractions and then...........they stopped. After that Marlene ate some hospital food, I took a nap, and Marlene slept.

She is doing well and she was able to get up today and walk a little bit to the bathroom. She was really dizzy but she did really well. I have spent my day helping her eat, napping, and watching Ferris Bueller's Day Off. That's about it as far as updates go. Hopefully they'll get her another room soon so we can get out of ICU, but I can't complain because this hospital is WAY better than Utah Valley. Also, the weather is nice.

Until next time,

Stephen

Friday

Another day, another adventure. Marlene is tired and on morphine so she hasn't been the most active person lately. Understandable considering she just went through brain surgery. The surgery did cause some swelling on her left side and she can't hear through her left ear, but the doctor assured us this would go away. He said this is a result of laying on her left side during surgery and is normal to have these symptoms.

Assuming all goes according to plan (when do things ever go according to plan?) we will be home next week. Dr. Spetzler cleared her to fly as long as she's not the pilot. He also mentioned that the numbness that she has had for three weeks will gradually go away, which means it could be gone tomorrow, or in a few weeks, or a few months.

That's it as far as updates go, unless you want to know what she's eating (it's hospital food). Thank you again for your prayers and support!

~Stephen

First Entry

Marlene and I decided that we need a blog to document our adventures in life together. The adventure is just beginning but has been quite bumpy thus far. As many of you know, Marlene has had some recent health problems. She had a cavernous malformation in her brain stem. Today it was operated on by Dr. Robert Spetzler here in Phoenix, AZ. He is the best in the world at operating on cavernous malformations and I wanted nothing but the best for my dear wife. The procedure took five hours. It was the longest five hours of my life. I am just glad that it is over and now Marlene can really recover. Marlene is so dear to me and she means the world to me. It is really hard to see her go through this and know that I can't just fix it for her. At least I can make it easier and help her in any way I can. It has been a pleasure to help her and serve her these three weeks. She is such a special person and a remarkable woman. My love and admiration for her has only grown these weeks.

So for an actual update on her condition: her speech is improved, her motor skills are good and even quicker than before the surgery, and her cognitive skills are still good despite the morphine they are giving her. The baby is doing great as well. She should be here for 3-5 days depending on her progress. She is in ICU right now, which is normal procedure, and will have an MRI tomorrow. It really is amazing how much support we have had from all our friends and family. We truly appreciate it. It makes the situation a little easier to deal with when you know you have so many people pulling for you. And of course we thank God for helping us through this time. I know that without His help, I wouldn't have been able to make the correct decisions for Marlene's care.

Thank you all again for your love and prayers. We really do appreciate it. Now it's off to bed for another day. Good night!

~Stephen

P.S. Forgive the name of the blog, it was the best I could come up with at 11 at night. Hopefully a better, more creative name will come when things have settled down.